1 Good Event And Another Bad Situation

Things with this new friend seemed better, especially after i found out she didn't really like the other friend due to his arrogance.. I feel much better about this now.. (:

But there's something really bothering me right now.. The probable impending doom of my fate awaits me. I hope the probability is so low, it won't turn out at all. Classified info. Can't blog about it ): sigh..

A Sad Decision

I've been noticing you have treated me less warm, and then I had a talk with you about it. Only then, I found out that the way I treat you is on a higher level than you are treating me. Which is why I am feeling so drained these few days.

I give my close friends a lot of commitment. But this time, I feel shortchanged. Only after the talk then, I have decided to level it out with you. In my heart, you are just a friend to me now.

I only call one a close friend when it is deserved, as it takes a lot of my energy and commitment in daily interaction. I don't mind doing that if you're really worth it. I feel even happier, in fact. Sorry, but this zone is reserved, somehow.

From here on, lets continue our friendship -- the normal standard.

And for your info, it hurts for me to do such a thing to you in my heart. It hurts, really a lot.

Colder

I'm disappointed. For a few days, she's rather warm towards me. But since last night and till now, today, she has been rather cold. I'm confused, and I feel i'm becoming more indifferent to the feelings of this friendship already. I don't want to lose this friend, though.. Never wanted to lose any..

New Friend

Sigh... These few days i keep having mood swings.. Probably not enough sleep..

I have discovered a new friend, who lives just 1 block away from me, whom i have been playing an mmorpg game with all the long! Didn't know she lives just so near.. I'm excited by that fact alone, but at the same time, i'm feeling disappointed because she can't meet up with me due to her personal boundaries.. That she won't meet up with game friends.. Even if that friend is less than 100m away everyday.. So sad.. I'm in no position to change her boundaries. I have to respect that. So near yet so far.. Nevermind ba.. I guess the best way to deal with this is to totally ignore the fact she's living near me. Even pen-pals from overseas can become close friends. Sms/call/game-pals would have more hope then, logically speaking.. Time will tell..

Realisation

Finally, one of you volunteered to help me. (: I'm glad. Please keep it up..

Being Taken Advantage Of

Don't try thinking I'm your office MAID when I was just being kind. I may help out with cleaning a lot, but doesn't mean you can f***ing climb over my head. You care for your own convenience and you actually add on to my "burden". I told you not to do that already, and you just gave a lame excuse. You can't do that yourself? Shame on you. And you're just a new employee. And after weeks of being attached to your senior -- I don't know what the F*** he taught you, but sorry, I feel that both of you have F***ed up mentality and attitude towards something called CONTRIBUTION. I AM DOING MOST OF THE CLEANING AND TIDYING OF EVERYTHING IN OUR OFFICE. AND ALL YOU GUYS CAN SAY IS "OH. YOU WERE ON MEDICAL LEAVE THAT DAY. I ALREADY HELPED. WHAT THE F***. YOU THINK I TAKE MC 3 DAYS PER 5-DAY WORK WEEK?! ULTIMATELY, YOU HAVE DONE SIGNIFICANTLY LESSER CLEANING UP THAN I DO. WHAT KIND OF EFFORT DO YOU PUT IN? HALF-PAST SIX? THE "COULD NOT BOTHER" KIND.

I was nice to you when you first came in. As well as the other guy, who is currently longer in office than you do. But I already gave up on the other guy. Taking my kindness for granted. I thought you would at least be of hope. Well, ALONE, you do. But like I said, I see things getting worser after you got attached to that LAZY senior colleague I had. You do not consider how much additional burden you add to my workload just for YOUR PERSONAL CONVENIENCE. I go the extra mile, you take me EXTRA "FOR GRANTED".

HELLO. I just want to set a kind and caring environment at our workplace, and this is all I got out of it? An environment that is like "Ayah, this arh.. Let Terence do lah.."

I AM NOT YOUR OFFICE MAID. I AM YOUR FELLOW COLLEAGUE THAT IS HUMAN TOO. NEITHER AM I A ROBOT WITH NO EMOTIONS.

You and your senior -- your tiny section, I give up. Don't bother asking me to help anything. If it doesn't concern me a little bit, go and solve that yourself. I'm sick and tired of helping people like these. Like YOU and YOUR senior. What lack of appreciation.

AND. TO THAT PERVERTIC GUY IN THE EVENING BUS TODAY:

Stop taking advantage of my fiancee. KEEP YOUR BLOODY HANDS OFF. You have sexual fantasies, I know. BUT SHE DIDN'T GAVE CONSENT TO JOIN YOU IN YOUR SEXUAL ACT. KEEP YOUR F***ING C**K OFF MY GIRL. YOU WANT IT RUBBED, GO RUB IT YOURSELF AT HOME. F***ING RUDE AND PERVERTIC.

And hello. GIRLS ARE NOT OBJECTS OF SEX. GIRLS ARE HUMAN BEINGS MEANT TO BE LOVED AND CARED FOR. GIRLS ARE EMOTIONALLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE. BY YOUR SELFISH SEXUAL ACTS YOU COULD HAVE CAUSED EMOTIONAL TRAUMA TO A GIRL.

PLUS, you have the GUTS to look at girls around you with that pervertic eyes of yours with no sense of shame. Those eyes don't say "Wow, beautiful." Instead, they seem to say "I WANNA F*** YOU."

AND IF GIRLS HAPPEN TO BE CARELESS WITH CARRYING THEMSELVES, WHO ARE YOU TO PREY AND FEAST ON THEIR MISTAKE. STOP PEEPING AND KEEP THOSE LUSTFUL EYES OFF THEM. IF YOU WANNA LOOK, LEARN ONE WORD: A-D-M-I-R-E

NOT L-U-S-T

To the girls out there who like dressing less:

You might be doing so due to the climate/weather in Singapore.
You might be doing so because you want a little bit of attention or to stand out.
You might be doing so because some one might have forced you to.
You might be doing so because it is the trend.

There are many reasons I can list, and all are valid reasons to. But what ever your reason may be, please be cautious of such guys. Perhaps you had a long day and you feel tired. That's okay, but try spending a little more effort to monitor what your clothes are actually showing to people around you. You love the look/style of mini-skirts? I find them wonderful too. But PLEASE -- know how to walk or sit in these kind of fashion items. If you have a hard time with skirts, I'd rather have you in shorts.

Please take care.

A Crossroad, A Decision To Make

Its cleaning time again.. I did the same - sweeping and mopping the other department's area. The guys in my office - one of them actually did help me. Though with just a small task of sweeping our own office, while i mop the other department's area. But that's assigned by me. Cause i want to sweep and mop the other department's area myself. I feel that i can do a better job there. So i actually assigned him to do our own office instead.

Well, after all these cleaning, he told me the same thing again, "can you mop the floor once a week?" I mean, i'm a clean freak, i admit. But i really need things around me to be clean. Very clean. I also take my responsibility seriously. When i'm being assigned a responsibility, i make sure it is done very well. I take presentation seriously. And in this case, what ever the floor condition is, represents what i have presented to the one who assigned me the floor to take care of.

And there goes my colleague limiting my performance level. I have standards, personal standards, that i set for myself. Why is he trying to stop me from achieving my personal standard?! I always make sure that whatever comes from me is of best quality.

Oh ya. In addition, he told me that mopping everyday is over-doing it. Well, that's MY PERSONAL STANDARD. I'm not imposing my standards on you! He also told me that i'm "spoiling the market" by mopping everyday. And said that if the other department superiors see me mopping everyday alone, they would scold my colleagues. And SO, therefore, this particular colleague i have is stopping me from doing so often because of that!

And so, i asked him "so are you saying that you guys don't want to do anything, and leave everything to me instead?"

He told me, "No. I don't mind mopping too. But since you are doing it everyday, it means i have to mop more often too."

My goodness! Even so, isn't it true that if he mops that often, i still mop the same frequency as him anyway? Since we're taking turns anyway!

I know, probably he doesn't want to do it so much. Its fine! I can do it! I told him that too. But again he said, if the other department's superior see me as the only one doing, they would get scolded. So, i'm trapped in this situation now.

If i were to continue working so hard on the floor, mopping and sweeping with that kind of standard, i would satisfy my personal standards, but lose bond with my colleagues.

But if were to follow what my colleagues want things to be, i will be able to keep the bond with my colleagues, but instead, that would compromise my PERSONAL STANDARDS of doing things.